wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
