I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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