I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
