Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
