Me. At least after what I've been through.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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