are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
