In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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