how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
