The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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