It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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