Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
