We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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