i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
