I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
