are you still at the devil's house?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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