Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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