Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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