I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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