My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
