dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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