Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize
