I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
