1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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