And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
