Me. At least after what I've been through.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
