Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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