Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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