I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
