Say something about gay babies.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
