Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
