everyone is single if you try hard enough
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
