You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Sext me about skeletons
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
