went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Vodka?
Forever.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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