So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
