We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.