maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.