Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic