could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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