Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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