OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
3pm strippers are depressing
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
