Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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