yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
