If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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