Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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