You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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