well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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