Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize