Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize