sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
bring money and cleavage
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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