i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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