I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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