Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
