So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
