I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
