My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
