So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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