You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
