have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
