Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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