Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
