what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize