is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
my liver is dry heaving
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize