so explain again why im purple
no
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize