If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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