Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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