the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
