high people should be assigned attendants
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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