I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
